They call me arrogant
Yesterday someone called me arrogant. I’m sure they meant it as an insult but I was actually pleased to hear it. I’ve always considered myself to be an introvert or a loner. I was the typical techie, the odd looking guy you see on TV shows and in the movies that they call when something is broken and needs fixing.
One thing I noticed about successful people is their healthy sized ego and ability to self promote. I’ve always found self promotion repulsive. I believe there will always be someone more talented or smarter than me at a given task, even if I hadn’t met them yet. But this type of thinking is actually counter productive for career progression of any sort.
In being humble I would say things like “I’m not the best, but I’m OK” or “I think I can do that” I could never answer in the affirmative. In my attempt to be humble I often sounded unsure of myself and my ability. People pick up on this. If you say your not that good, people believe you. If you say you are amazing, people believe that too. Politicians do it all the time. After watching enough people succeed being cocky I’ve given up and started doing it myself.
If someone asks me a question I always answer confidently one way or the other. “Yes, I’m one of the best in the world when it comes to X†or “No, I have no idea about that.†It’s been working for me. Now if someone thinks they know better than I do, they will have to prove it and I rather like that. Because I never claim to know something I don’t. In fact, what has changed is that I now “know what I know†and stand steadfast by my opinions.
For example, this picture of me taken two days ago shows that I am obviously one of the most handsome black men in NY. It isn’t arrogance when it’s true, is it?
On another note, I want to thank the 118 people who have signed up for gather at. Most of you I can recognize by email and I really do appreciate your support.
May 12th, 2006 at 2:08 am
Ok. So you are sayiong that you find self promotion repulsive.
But if you go to the “About” section in your blog this part is highlighted and in a nice big box. Why so?
—
Horatio Alger never accomplished so much in so little time
—
May 12th, 2006 at 2:23 am
arrogant? I think that not you, neither I know you so much. But, who says that it is bad to be a little arrogant? What is really bad is to lose the personality. It is really necessary to be courteous and educated, but it is also necessary to be oneself. greetings
May 12th, 2006 at 5:13 am
I have nothing against nuns, but being humble is good just for them.
May 12th, 2006 at 6:09 am
Arrogant, I think not, from what I know about you, thru emails and reading, I would say that you are on my top 1 people to meet this decade, so when I visit the USA next It would be an honour for me to meet you, be it personal or business.
On that note, did you get my email reply?
have a good weekend!
May 12th, 2006 at 10:16 am
Observation and experience has thought me that arrogant gets you into the door,but only humility can keep you inside once you you’re in.From reading your post I already know your are humble.So congratulations!
May 12th, 2006 at 11:30 am
A really hot girl once told me I was arrogant. She’s now my wife.
May 12th, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Danny, 1) I think some self promotion is nessecary. 2) That isn’t my quote. That is a quote from the Boston Globe.
May 12th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
EJ,
I agree. You seem to be a nice person. At least you publised my comments, In most cases if you send a post like that the site owner will discard it.
Cheers!
May 13th, 2006 at 7:03 am
¡If you don´t believe in and promote yourself… nobody will!
May 14th, 2006 at 3:38 am
My experience has been that some people take someone’s humbleness as a sign of weakness. On the other hand, they take someone’s assertiveness as a sign of arrogance. But it has been my experience that if you are assertive and promote yourself, you will get more respect as compared to someone who is humble but is equally intelligent or smart. I am all for self promotion.
May 14th, 2006 at 4:41 am
I’d have to say that I’m not big on self promotion, but like you (everyone) said, if you act too humble you are viewed as hesitant and discredited. It’s really hard online, though, because there are quite a few extremely arrogant people (who might consider a little humility) and since communication occurs mostly in words it takes a little while to judge what kind of person you’re dealing with. (and also if they actually have the whatever to back up their arrogance or not)
May 14th, 2006 at 4:43 am
I’d have to say that I’m not big on self promotion, but like you (everyone) said, if you act too humble you are viewed as hesitant and discredited. It’s really hard online, though, because there are quite a few extremely arrogant people (who might consider a little humility) and since communication occurs mostly in words it takes a little while to judge what kind of person you’re dealing with. (and also if they actually have the whatever to back up their arrogance or not)
May 14th, 2006 at 7:50 am
oops, sorry to post 2wice.
May 16th, 2006 at 12:07 am
That picture is going to be in next month’s GQ isn’t it
?
May 17th, 2006 at 5:19 am
hehe, could be!
Did you ever think growing up that you would be an ICON that people in the IT userland would look up too?
May 17th, 2006 at 11:11 am
I’m 5′8, not many people look up to me. Though many people tell me I look tall in my pictures.
May 17th, 2006 at 2:34 pm
and full of wit too!
May 18th, 2006 at 12:51 am
It’s funny how confidence sneaks up on you….